Day 13

Went to the gym yesterday for the first time in like months *SHAME*. Smashed out 30 minutes of cardio.
Did day 13 of the Shred today AND I went to the gym to smash out another 30 minutes of cardio.
YUSS. 

Day 12

Finally back on track with the Shred.... after I weighed myself spontaneously *OMFG I NEED TO STOP EATING FOREVER AND EXERCISE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE*

I need to get serious about loosing weight again.
God sake.. why do I gain weight so easy????

Day 11

Spent most of the first level 2 work out crumpled on the floor sweating and panting. Crap that was a major jump from level one. Anything involving the plank position was HORRIBLE, which was like 6 of the exercises!

Day 10

**** you Jillian. See you tomorrow with level 2

Day 9

Pretty sick of level one. Only have to do it one more time tomorrow then I can try level 2, which I watched on youtube last night..... Holy shit I will die.

Day 8

I didn't shred yesterday. Bloody slacker.
Managed to do it tonight though.
Shitting myself for level 2 in 3 days.

Day 7

Didn't shred yesterday. Was too bloody tired from work to be honest. Just did day 7 before writing this. Used the hand weights with it for the first time, sweated a bucket load more than normal. Think my arms are going to be stuffed tomorrow!

Day 5 and 6

Getting stronger every day.

I  bought some 1.5kg weights to use, as in the routine the people actually have them and I've been doing them without the weights so far. Nervous it's going to get a shit load harder now!

Day 4

My leg muscles aren't killing me quite so bad today.
I feel like I pushed myself harder in the exercises too, like trying not to stop before that bitch Jillian says so. Only stopped two or three times today, which is a huge improvement from day one which involved a lot of stopping to die for a moment because I have the strength and endurance of a ladybug.
I don't know if my physical performance is getting better of my brain knows I can go harder therefore I am? Chicken or egg type mind-fuck going on here.
Getting pretty sick of the background music, it's kinda porno. I'd mute the whole thing and play other music but I need to hear when she says stop while I'm busting my foofoo on the ground doing push ups or sit ups not looking at my laptop on the bench and so on

Day 2 and 3

Going strong.

But..... my legs are screaming at me! The muscles in my thighs and calves are buggered.
As far as doing the exercises goes I think I'm getting stronger with enduring the cardio and able to dig deeper in doing the strength moves. I need to buy some hand weights though as some of the moves use them and I want to make the most of it while I'm still building up my strength at level 1.

Day 1

First of 30 in a row workouts.
Not as horrid as I'd imagined, I'm more concerned about how I'll feel tomorrow and having to do it again but with sore muscles.

I just don't wanna be fat any more, is that so much to ask baby Jesus?
To be a boring old size 12 and not feel rolly, bloated, and muffin-top(ish) is all I ask for!
Give me the strength to do all 30 days in a row and not eat shit. I need the willpower!

30 Day Shred

Gettting fat again. Crap.

Going to start the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred exercise programme tomorrow. Absolutely shitting myself about it but the pain of the exercises, but the results outweigh being fat again and everything that goes with it by about 2 trillion.

The next 30 days is going to be fucking awful in the most optimistic way fucking awful can be.

Good luck to me.

Meltdown

The weight loss comes and goes. It depends on a lot of things.
I do really well when Alex is working closes all week. When he isn't I tend to just eat dinner with him, and lots of it...

Life is so stressful at the moment with my workload, and to top it off work is fucking awful.
Having a little melt down.
In three weeks the coursework will be done and I never have to look at it again, I'm holding out for three more weeks!

Got a voice-mail on my phone on Friday "Hi it's so-and-so from Pettigrew Green Area Gym here, just calling to check up on you as you haven't been to they gym in four weeks..."
SHAME!
Might go in tomorrow and change my membership to all opening hours rather than 8.30am to 4.30pm so I can fit  it in easier and not make excuses.

S'gooooood!

This mornings weigh-in was good!
I'll only be 100% satisfied that this willpower business is working when I get to a certain weight, which is about 1- 1.5 kilos away. Then I'll carry on!

Great success

After my little rant/light-bulb moment yesterday my weigh in this morning was really good.
One day at a time.

Day two of willpower going good. Hopefully good weigh in tomorrow morning too.
Oh and weighing myself with clothes on = bad idea. Weighed myself straight after with none on and a whole kilo difference! Holy balls

Addiction

I think about food ALL THE TIME. Like an addict.
I understand not to restrict myself, for example having a liiiiiitle bit of cake (Alex's lovely little nana made us a fucking cake, exactly what I need haha) so I don't go apeshit thinking about it.
But tonight I nearly went back for more but managed to stop myself.
As I went to get more cake, which would have very likely lead to a night spent eating cake, I had a light-bulb moment. If I know what the cake tastes like already because I just had some, why do I need to have any more? It's not like I'm hungry so why eat more?
Why didn't I think of this earlier!

I'm a bad binge eater, I'll be the first to admit that. And clearly I put on weight easily. Flippin' genetics and metabolism and bad eating habits.
I tend to have a little bit then think ohhhhh go on then I'll have some more.
Even if I don't loose much weight in the near future I need to take control of the boredom eating I tend to do.

My friend Amber, who is a little winky at only like 5 feet tall has been loosing weight lately and looks so babing. I'm very jealous. She weighs only like 55 kilos so weight loss is obvious on her. She looks happy.

Trippin balls

Okay, so I measure myself at home with a tape measure. I got remeasured at the gym the other day to see if my measurements had gone down since I started at the gym, apparently they hadn't.
WTF! My home measurements say they flippin have!
Ballsacks I was mad.

I mean they have to have changed if I've gone from this:

To this:

BULLSHIT

Motivation.

Just when I start to get downbuzz that my dieting and exercising isn't working because the scales are barley moving I measure myself again.
1cm lost off my arms.
5cm lost off my stomach.
2cm lost off my thighs.
& 4cm lost off my hips!

From 7th Feb -23rd March.
Yah buddy!

Thinspiration

My current thinspo... Looking the way I want to look in clothes!

Right now

I don't think I look smaller, but I feel better, not so heavy.

Reason I want to loose weight: so that when I go dancing in the club/go ANYWHERE I don't feel like the fat person in the room (like the elephant in the room saying).

I know there are people in the room or whatever that are bigger or more unhealthier than me, but the psychological part of being heavy is really hard.

My diet progress so far

This is hard for me to put personal photos of my body on the net but I would hope people are supportive so here goes

4th Feb

19th Feb

Not a huge difference so far but I notice I don't look so bloated in the bottom picture.

For more pictures of between these photos see my tumblr: briarsprogress.tumblr.com
The password to it is specialsauce. I have a password on it because tumblr is a lot more public than this blog.

I will post more stuff about my dieting/weight loss on here as well as my tumblr from now on.  Just for you Caitlin :P

NO MORE SPARE TYRE

Soooooo I've started dieting again.
I post about it on my tumblr but I'm thinking of maybe posting the progress on here too, like a diary + pictures kind of thing, because on tumblr I only really post photos.

Should I post dieting stuff on here too?

This year

I will join the gym. I will not procrastinate. I will do all my background reading before class. I will remember to put the rubbish out every Monday night so I don't wake up to the sound of the rubbish truck driving past my house on a Tuesday morning. I will remember to water my plants.

It's going to happen.

Me

My name is Briar.

I'm a 20 year old student

I have two cats

I love Youtube

I have dreadlocks

I'm engaged, have no children currently or plans to get married any time soon

I love being a student

I was never a cat person until I got them

Make up tutorials are my favourite Youtube videos, I could watch for hours

My dreadlocks are my pride and joy, they are a wonderful hobby and make me feel like *me*

I want children and to be married but I have to much life to live without them still

Learning new stuff every day makes my brain glow

This is me.